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What should I put in my press release?
Stop right now and click here to read our in-depth advice about packaging
yourself as newsworthy. This is an important step – so don’t skip it!
Let’s stick with the theme presented in that report: you run an vitamin
web site specializing in weight-loss products. Through the process described
in the report, you’ve nailed down a nice, newsworthy topic – teenagers and how
they deal with issues of weight. But that’s a broad topic, not a story.
In the report, we provided a number of ideas for potential stories. Let’s pick
the first one and craft a press release.
The story: What do kids think about a “thin is in” society?
As you sift through your message boards looking for quotes, you see a trend
appearing. There are lots of messages criticizing Hollywood actresses and pop
singers for being too thin. Many girls are saying that seeing these women make
them feel bad about their own bodies. A number of the boys are pointing out
that they don’t find ultra-thin women appealing.
Now you’ve got your angle — your hook that will grab a reporter’s attention:
Teenagers think that a “thin is in” society pretty much stinks.
Now let’s get writing.
Press Release Headline
Before you write a word, remember this:
The reporter isn’t interested in helping you make money or driving
visitors to your site. He’s looking for a story that will be interesting
to his readers and pleasing to his editor. He could care less about
your great selection, super customer service and commitment to
quality. He wants to know only the info that will help him craft a good
story about teens and their weight.
Take your ego out of it. Take your natural inclination to sell, sell, sell out of it.
Look at your story with a cold, objective eye.
OK, let’s get to our press release headline.
State your most exciting news, finding or announcement in as few words as
possible. Emulate the headlines you see in the newspaper every day.
Bad Press Release Headline:
NEW WEBSITE THAT OFFERS HERBAL WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAMS LETS TEENS
SPEAK OUT ABOUT WEIGHT ISSUES
Good Press Release Headline:
TEENS: ULTRA-THIN MOVIE, POP STARS SET BAD EXAMPLE
Don’t worry, you’ll get to plug your website soon enough. In the meantime,
you’ve just thrown a meaty hook at the reporter.
The Press Release Subhead
Subheads are remarkably useful tools, yet usually overlooked by press
release writers. Basically, the press release subhead gives you the opportunity
to flesh out your angle and further hook the reporter, without stepping on the
drama of the press release headline.
Here’s a headline/subhead combo I might use for this press release:
TEENS: ULTRA-THIN MOVIE, POP STARS SET BAD EXAMPLE
Website Forumgoers Weigh In: Teens Don’t Find Ultra-Thin Celebs
Attractive;
Girls Say Negative Self-Images Reinforced by Hollywood’s Super-Skinny
The Press Release Lead
It’s Journalism 101 — the lead paragraph includes the who, what, when, where and
how of the story. If the reporter were only to read the lead of a good press release,
he’d have everything he needed to get started.
There’s no room for BS, hype or sell. Just the facts.
Bad Press Release Lead
Recently on theplace4vitamins.com, an online store dedicated to selling
the best herbal products, teenagers had the chance to say what they
thought about weight loss and whether a society that pressures young
people to be thin is a good thing or a bad thing.
Good Press Release Lead
America’s teenagers are angry at Hollywood for glamorizing ultra-thin
bodies, and many girls say they feel too self-conscious about their
bodies as a result of watching TV, movies and music videos. The findings
are gleaned from more than six months of ongoing discussion and
debate at the website theplace4vitamins.com. According to
theplace4vitamins.com President John Smith, anger and resentment
toward the Hollywood ultra-thin runs deep, particularly among teenage
girls.
The Rest of the Press Release
The balance of the press release serves to back up whatever claims were
made in the lead and headline. In this case, you’d pull some quotes from the
message boards (an aside here: if you really were to pull quotes in this fashion,
you should only use the poster’s name or identifying information with his or
her permission. Otherwise, simply say “a 14 year old boy said…” or “a 16 year
old Midwestern girl added…” Also, if this technique appeals to you, be certain
that a disclaimer appears on your message boards notifying posters that all
posts become your property and copyright). Use enough supporting material
to make your case, and to demonstrate that, whatever angle you’re promoting,
it wasn’t something you slapped together carelessly.
Next, a quote will help put in some perspective:
“I was surprised by the level of anger expressed in these messages,
” Smith said. “Teenagers are far more clued into this issue than most
people would imagine.”
Or, you might ask an expert for a quote:
“This demonstrates once again the need to teach young girls and boys
about how to develop a positive self-image,” said Jane Doe, author of
“I Like My Body Just As It Is”. “theplace4vitamins.com has done a true
service by bringing these attitudes to the public’s attention.”
Finally, spend a sentence or two describing your company and what you do:
theplace4vitamins.com was founded in 1997 to provide consumers with
a wide choice of vitamins, supplements and herbal products. The site
offers a range of articles, research materials and message forums for the health conscious consumer.
This paragraph is known as the “boilerplate” — an old newspaper term meaning
a block of standard text that’s used over and over again (e.g. the explanation
of symbols on the stock price page). In this case, it’s text that you might use
at the bottom of all your releases.
If you’d like more information about this topic, or to schedule an
interview with John Smith, please call Pat Brown at 555/555-2222 or
e-mail Pat at pr@theplace4vitamins.com
Some Key Things to Remember
- Stay away from hype-bloated phrases like “breakthrough”, “unique”,
- “state-of-the-art”, etc.
- Always write it from a journalist’s perspective. Never use “I” or “we”
- unless it’s in a quote.
- Read lots of good newspaper writing, such as the New York Times or
- the Washington Post to get a feel for the style.
- Shorter is better. If you can say it in two pages, great. If you can say
- it in one page, better.
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